You know that you watch and read too much yuri if you...

• hear "anise" and think of the lesbian magazine, not the plant.

 

• try to recreate the teas blended at the Amber Teahouse. (Even black seaweed and strawberry cream.) Bonus points if you make scones and tea for you and your girlfriend right before accepting her marriage proposal.
•  compare you and your significant other to a teapot and tea cozy.

 

• read every single literary work you haven't read that Shimura Takako references.
• schedule a trip to a city or town around the sights referenced in a series you love. (Like, say, Aoi Hana and Kamakura.)

 

• try every music artist name-dropped by Yamaji Ebine.

 

• get beauty tips from Girl Friends.
• visit Mister Donut because Akko is obsessed with it.
• drink Kahlúa milk because it's Mari and Akko's alcoholic beverage of choice.

 

• order a grasshopper every time you get drinks with someone you like.

 

• seduce someone by inviting them to eat mapo tofu.

• convinced some older guy to let you treat him like a surrogate brother and send him letters about how much high school sucks before you entered your freshman year. Poor bastard.

• sing the Amigo Tacos song every time you have a taco.

 

• are enraged by the lack of lesbians in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
• are similarly disappointed by the Pillow Book. 

• take it as a challenge if someone offers to befriend you.
• name your daughter Vivio.

• decide that even though you're not a ten year old girl, no one will be creeped out if you convince the person you like to cosplay dresses you made while you gleefully film them with a video camera.

 

• watch Battle Athletes to get in the mood to exercise.

 

• are still willing to try whichever new title Kaishaku produces that's tenuously connected to Kannazuki no Miko. (Kaishaku have turned themselves into the herpes of the yuri genre. They won't ever quite go away.)

• are a man who acts fanboyish over real women- not fictional characters, but flesh and blood people in front of you- who you perceive as a couple. If this applies to you, know that no real lesbian will ever like you and you aren't as progressive as you think you are.

 

• refer to butchy women as "princes" or "princely."

 

• get all of the references in Strawberry Panic!

• substitute Lonely Planet (or your travel guide of choice) with Rica'tte Kanji!? and Honey & Honey when you visit Shinjuku Ni-Choume.

 

•  when listening to a completely unrelated band (say... The Chieftains) you begin imagining what an AMV of the music would look like, results naturally involve yuri anime. (Contributed by Steven.)

• say "Gokigenyo" when greeting someone, even if they don't understand you.
• buy an orange lipstick that reminds you of sunset.
• check almost every day if there are new yuri releases.
• have read "Wuthering Heights" right after Aoi Hana and not because of some boring vampire book.
• if a significant part of the music you've got is from yuri anime. (This one + the above four are contributed by Gata de los canales.)

 

• ....See white lillies as more than just a symbol of death. (Contributed by P.S.)

Have any more suggestions? Share them in the comments, and I shall add them. :-)