Things on the Internet I Don't Understand: Candy Boy

2008 saw many strange things, not least of which was one of the most vacuous years of yuri anime in all of the time that I've been in the yuri fandom. (Since 2006... which isn't really saying much...) Aside from the Yoriko/Kananko subplot in Mouryou no Hako (which is still being fansubbed, so I can't speak for how it resolves yet...I still say that it's an excellent series), 2008 has had a 3 episode hentai OVA (Shoujo Sect, which again, I am never watching), a few side characters (pervy Nene from Hyakko which I haven't finshed, pervy Sei and whatsherface from Koihime Musou which I haven't finished, and Elliot from Mai Otome S.ifr- she looks like a genteel Victorian maiden next to the others), and a crappy internet show called Candy Boy. If there was ever a way to measure how bereft the fandom was of decent yuri this past year, it would be the fact that Candy Boy received such an enthusiastic response.

Here's a synopsis of the show, beginning with its origins: A generic pop idol named Meilin releases a single called "Candy Boy," and it gets extra promotion by having a (roughly) 8 minute short yuri anime attached to it. Yay, right? Only, to grab extra attention (and because the people who came up with the concept are probably Megami-reading creeps), the yuri in question is about (wait for it) twin sisters in high school named Kanade and Yukino. In the initial short, a younger girl named Sakuya asks the younger twin, Yukino, to help her win over Kanade, the older twin. Kanade gets jealous when she thinks that Yukino and Sakuya are going out, only to find out that her sister has feelings for her. Whew! Crisis averted!! (That's the sound of my stomach churning and a piece of my soul flying away.)

Because this 8 minute piece of tripe was so popular, it's been getting released as a 7 episode series online, with one 15 minute episode getting released...once a month, I think. A wise decision on the part of the creators, because if they aired a full-length episode of this once every week, no doubt more people would realize how deadly dull it is. (If incest isn't enough of a turn-off.) The art is pretty and the backgrounds are well-done, but that's hardly a saving grace when there are plenty of better-looking shows, both yuri and otherwise, that have real plots. (Aside from, "Oh my god, how can she leave me for a girl outside our gene pool??!") Not to mention the dialogue is a perfect example of the more insipid side of the slice-of-life genre.

Not recommended, unless you're really desperate for yuri, and have read/watched everything out there, and don't mind incest. (Yes, that element creeps the hell out of me, especially since it's caused a number of fans on "teh internet" to start defending it as perfectly normal. Please.)

Rating: 1 out of 5 (With that 1 point for the art.)

Just thought I'd get that opinion off of my chest, since just about everybody in the internet yuri fandom seems to think this is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Extra Note: this review covers all released episodes of Candy Boy from the 8 minute ONA (episode 0) through episode 5.